I’ve been struggling to write on here…. so with the anniversary of Jake’s amputation looming… here goes!
So the gravity of what we went through twelve months ago will probably never really set in. It was too big even now, it’s like standing in the middle of Central Park trying to see the park edges. Or wading into Lake Michigan and trying to across to the other side. It is just too massive to fully see the whole thing while understanding how small you are in comparison to the body of water around you.
The weekend before Jake initially went into the hospital, the weekend that I have repeatedly tortured myself over, I never would have thought that I could handle such a huge life event. Today, I know that not only can I handle anything that might happen to me, but I might grow and end up a better and a changed version of myself. I think Jake learned that he is so much stronger than he thought.
The biggest lesson that we have both learned though is that loss doesn’t equal defeat. Literally and figuratively! We are better, smarter versions of ourselves today than we were a year ago. We have been set on a path of growth, and we try every day to keep growing and being better.
I have struggled lately with writing content for this blog because it started out so specific about Jake and our struggles learning to adapt to life as an amputee (and amputee wife!). But luckily, so far, fingers-crossed and knock-on-wood, life has gotten a bit easier the further we get from the amputation.
Jake is still in his official second socket, though since he is wearing nearly 15 socks, we are likely going to get him fit or another one in the early part of next year. It could take up to 2-2.5 years (from the amputation) for him to be in a socket that he will be able to keep long term. Since the volume of his residual limb is still shrinking, he will eventually get into a socket that is smaller and less bulky. The thing we have to worry about his keeping his remaining foot and leg healthy and his right leg (his residual limb) happy also. Skin issues will always be something we have to watch. A blocked hair follicle could turn into an irritated follicle, which could turn into a boil, which could turn into a staph infection.
We are thankful everyday that things turned out this way!
[picture is with all our nieces and nephew!]